I want to take things slow emotionally, but fast physically
I just realized that this morning is the first morning i've put on underwear in a week.
I love summer.
I woke up with the wrong plaid-shirted guy in my bed.
it was like, one of those nights where you keep going back to the fridge because you just can't get full. except, with sex.
Okay. Did anyone see me spend $1600 at the strip club last night? Or is this someone else's receipt in my pocket?
I don't think of it as I'm taking a pole dancing class...its more like I'm making myself recession proof
His wife found out about our affair the same day he got fired for it.
You dont lie about slip and slides
I'm pretty sure I asked his brother if he was gay while drunkenly falling to the ground.
He's been watching the World Cup too much because right before he came he screamed "NUT!!!!!!!!!!!!!!" for half a minute. Our landlord is not happy.
I'm not into beards but apparently my vagina is.
He said he loves me but he haven't eaten me out yet. So I don't think he means it.
Did I turn a man straight...??
Yes!
Oh and people at work think i got knocked up so my gay roomie is claiming it as his lol
Sorry 4 always trying to rope you into my sexual exploits
Randomize
