he was going down on me when he saw the warts...nevertheless he told me he had to pick his sister up from school. why does this keep happening to me???
We were in the backseat and he was giggling uncontrolably. It felt like I was giving head to a 10 year old girl.
This house was built for laser tag.
Revenge fucks should not count towards the total number. They're justified.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
The saltiness of my tears mix perfectly with the tequila.
she's on the floor slapping my dogs face with slices of pizza
You do realize that you tried to eat the neighbors cat because the dominos guy was 5 minutes late. You would have succeeded if we didnt stop you.
This bitch flirting at the bar needs to close her legs and open up a book. I can literally feel my IQ dropping every time she bends down to show her tits.
Jealous?
Very.
Shaving my legs with an ankle monitor on is surprisingly more difficult than the drunk driving that got me here
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
okay the fridge is completely filled only with alcohol. Not even exaggerating. There is no food.
Sometimes I wonder if we're going to make it to 40.
Let me begin to explain the rest of last night by beginning with saying that out if necessity I took a pair of your underwear
You are my best friend, but sometimes best friends need to punch each other in the face
Piñatas plus fireworks don't mix well
bitch dont make me pour hotsauce in your vagina
What happened?
Vodka. Vodka happened.
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