i wish swine flu would become a total pandemic so we cld be rid of all the people that are complaining about it
Dude I totally just watched a girl put a tampon soaked in vodka up her vag
I need new friends
Dude, she looked like the Canadian Slam Poet, neck hair and all.
We stopped her at 12
12 shots? Or 12 midnight?
Which answer would freak you out less
started to yawn and threw up hamburger helper instead. awesome night.
Her brother is deaf.
no wonder she was so good with her hands
so i say "rick dont build that sandcastle" and he "says ok i wont" then i wake up and its sandcastle fucking city all over my apartment
You just squeezed a person out of you and I'm drunks at 2PM. Our lives got traded and you know it and you're jealous.
I'm gonna hire strippers dressed like the founding fathers.
Pretty sure I recall hugging our waiter from the bar last night. That also means we are NEVER going there again
This is the guy I made out with and it made me think of my dad. Let's never talk about it again.
turns out putting a tie on my unicorn onesie didn't make it acceptable "formal wear" and I found salsa in my cup holder
Had to drive my booty call home because he had an asthma attack after we had sex .. How was your night?
How weird is it that 2 people I've had sex with have the same birthday and they don't even know each other
when I found u, u were using a t-shirt for pants
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