Do I need to let your sister outside to go pee or anything before I leave?
she asked me if I wanted a handjob on the haunted mansion ride at Disney. was I suposed to say no?
im sorry but my first introduction to your dick isn't going to be a pic sent from the men's room
i just lost my virginity over my 3 hour lunch break..
u hav a 3 hour lunch break?!
i like how the length of my lunch break is the thing that phases u
I've decided I'm just gonna keep drinking til the baby bump shows...
Just saw some girl biking on campus with a babyseat on the front. Baby included. Do you know how many points that'd be worth?
Dude, you need to come clean your dates vomit off the ceiling. What in the hell were you guys doing?!
Currently studying Econ, while waiting outside current booty call's residence for him to return from the strip club. This is your fault.
Blonde girl lying face-down, passed out next to my bed, walls are covered in guacamole. College is looking excellent.
I feel like there is something fundamentally wrong with me as a woman. My initial text to you was "What's up, fuck bucket?"
His new girl is probably classy and boring. I bet she doesn't feed him sour patch kids while she wiggles his weiner.
Someone needs to fuck me in my slutty pumpkin costume and I would ideally like it to be you
Damn Instagram explore page. I am six months in to some girl I don't even know.
We were so amazed while watching mission impossible ghost protocol last night we didn't even have sex
Somehow, you looked so classy chugging that bottle of wine last night.
Randomize
