good news, i'm not pregnant. bad news, i had sex with ***** last night and i think i'd rather be pregnant
he chased her out of the bar yelling "TAKE MY VIRGINITY" and i havent seen her since
I had 4 margarita's and 2 mixed drinks and i blew zero's. Its a cinco de mayo miracle.
just did awkward shuffle by the bagels in the dining hall at 7:30 AM with a kid i've hooked up with. goodbye freshman year.
Just figured out I can wedge my iphone between my boobs so it stands up at a perfect handsfree reading angle. Clearly somebody up there wants me to smoke this bowl while I watch my bieber videos
That sucks about the drama. But hey, it's always a good day when you see someone get tazed!
Gina was bawling her eyes out and then she ran into the street and peed. she kept screaming "LOOK WHAT YOUVE DONE TO ME"
If I come back tomorrow to find a certain football player tied up and locked in your closet, shit's gonna get real.
I'll set him free tomorrow morning ;)
I feel as though my head has drastically changed shape
He showed me a picture of his family on Instagram and his dad was my Sugar Daddy. ABORT.
After we had sex he gave me a thumbs up... fucking A&M Aggies, man
I have no regard for my liver, you should know this.
Hey I'm trying to get back with my ex I'mm done doing whatever we were doing I hope things workout for you
Weird flex but ok.
my roommates gone so i can take codeine and sleep naked
Hey, sorry I choked you last night... I was just really excited to see you.
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