Hey look on the bright side if youre preg at least you know it and wont have it in a toilet
it was like she wanted to be a once a week night stand
Not only is chick snoring like a 48 year old man but she's farting in rhythm
I threw up so much beer last night that my puke had a nice head on it.
The lifeguard told us we had to move Mike before the tide came in when he passed out.
You. Me. Frosting and a bed. Lets do this.
NO. ANAL IS NOT A GAME.
She took one look at my hardon and said, "You have a dick built for anal."
That wasn't a compliment.
My jeans are ripped and her glitter was all over me.. My walk of shame looked like I fucked a unicorn last night
I'm gonna chug this bud light an might injure this high school penis, like I'm 17 again
I need time to grow out my leg hair and not be sad anymore
Shia LaBeouf arrested in austin for public intoxication. JUST DO IT
I am getting off work an hour early just to watch you drink. Never let it be said that I don't love you.
My mom's yelling at me for being a whore and my dad's quizzing me on how to drive in winter weather....I'm home!
He puked all over the side of the car and the head rest behind him...and then all he said was "America."
Randomize
