in vegas stuck in the middle of a pride right now
Pride?
thats a pack of cougars
go fuck yourself
worst 3rd wheel sitch ever. i'm crammed into a booth with him and chubs mcgee and his hand is between her legs. thank youuu karma.
ok what kind of idiot turns down casual afternoon sex?
so, on facebook you can become a fan of butt sex, and also premarital sex, but not premarital butt sex, which is what I was aiming for.
Buying weed on Christmas. Gotta love Jewish drug dealers
A relator touring our house this week saw the picture in our bathroom of steven passed out, yellow faced, with BALLS on his forehead, and had to ask "if that kid was alive or dead".
Sonogram pictures belong on a fucking fridge...NOT FACEBOOK!!
all I know is he gave me a Cialis and tried to take me home.
Ice cream: Good. Fraternity: Good. Eating ice cream off a Skid Row bum's ass crack in order to get into a Fraternity: Homoerotic at best. I quit.
and then we all passionately sang "what if god was one of us" until everyone passed out in the grass
hand jobs are a waste of time that only lead to arm cramps. Also, where do you look...his eyes, at the penis, at the tv?
yeah the "where to look" question is super awkward
I love you too! Remember NO alcohol or weed at my residence because of legal ramifications.
I just farted so loud someone came to check on me. Thought something fell in my office.
he brings me coffee and gets a blow job. not sure if I trained him or he trained me or it's simply mutually beneficial beautiful.
Sorry you ended up in detox. It's not my fault you decided to walk downtown in only your underwater at 3am. I think the tequila took over.
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