i wonder if i could find a boyfriend who would call me big papa
sure if you go to prison
we went back to her place to bone only to find her boyfriend having sex.. with MY girlfriend
i miss our vodka / percocet laundry days.
that trick or treat candy bucket that we used to collect beer money last night was very helpful when I vomited in it this morning
Just ran four miles to popeye's. And back. Dedication.
Woke up the next morning in an 8 year old's bedroom. Saw my bra swinging from the spiderman ceiling fan and decided it would be best to dip out w/o it.
I come back upstairs and there he was sitting in a speedo. He handed me a blanket and said "let's cuddle" how is this real life?
I even got my dealer to make gluten free special cookies ;-)
my roommate had a few special brownies and wrapped my purse and one of my shoes and left them under the tree for me...
I am about to embark upon a south Boston wedding....
Hydrate.
Are you 5:30 blackout again?
blue gatorade loses no color upon regurgitation
Like did I tell you about the ex Amish guy? Because that was a mess
he's not even weird he's been offering me different drinks all night
oh i remember now hes the guy that liked when i peed on him
woke up with 4 bruises, 2 hickies and a bad case of rug burn. texans are dangerous.
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