Let me tell you a story about the rise and fall of my self esteem
Idk man, it felt like my skin was a suit and I could feel it zipping up my side and up to my mouth. And then my head felt like a ventriloquist dummy's head, with the jaw thing..it was freaky, dude
You think that's a metaphor for anything, champ?
Shut the hell up.
If I die tonight, wear a V neck to my funeral.
just used a caramelizing gun to spark a bowl, i don't think today could get much better than this.
Just took my first sake bomb. I love japan
CANT TOUCH THIS JUST CAME ON MY IPOD. LOVE STEVE JOBS
I gave the naked guy in the hotel hall a pop tart. He stopped crying.
The last thing i remember was high fiving everyone on the planet.
I need someone to get my backpack from the bar before class tomorrow. I have to give my students their papers back.
Are you absolutely against sleeping in your car? Because i've done that before.
but how can he casually chat with my father 8 hours after asking me if i'm a screamer
Yeah, the email that I was sending to get an Escort for the weekend, copied and pasted to my boss, that should be interesting conversation, when I come back from Christmas vacation break.
So I'm hiding in my bathroom smoking bowls because my landlords kids came over to visit my dog... My life has reached a new low
WHY DOES MY BOYFRIEND'S BROTHER HAVE TO BE SO FUCKING HOT
yeah. i tried to refuse to leave unless the burger king himself escorted me out. that didnt fly
Randomize
