I feel like our bond as friends is a lot stronger now that I've talked to you on the phone while having sex.
ppl dont tell me stories about anal. apparently im not a tell-me-stories-about-anal kind of person
A 21st bday and NYE should be illegal to have in the same week...
I'm hard boiling eggs, drinking rum, and talking to my 8 year old brother about the 10's times tables. This is what thursday is all about.
Went to the strip club with my aunt. Do you know how hard it is to be a pervert in front of your female family members?
Is buying her a loofah for my house commitment like? I don't wanna give the wrong idea
The amount of guys who just came into the room to give me a high five after hooking up with him was about 5 too many.
Sorry that I got drunk and refused to let you buy me pizza. I'm a monster and I understand if you hate me forever
Sensing a theme here
If alcoholism is a theme, yes.
Guy pissing in the corner in downtown Boston as his girlfriend is covering him up, yelling "relationship goals"
Is using La Croix as a mixer for vodka a legit way to reach my daily water consumption?
Its official. The summoning powers of my vagina are unmatched by anything in this world
We just fucked in the park on a bench and a guy with a dog walked past us and the dog walked right up to us while the guy stared at his phone.
Buying a new pipe this morning, and setting up career plans this afternoon. It's called balance
If he didn’t pick us up we would have been jerkwards eating sad pancakes at a Denny’s.
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