she said "feliz nobby job" then proceeded to give me a blowjob.
i'm as serious about my hair as jesse from full house.
that is uncle jesse to you, show some respect.
If I started a story with "That three-year-old totally deserved it," would you listen?
I swear this guy grew up in land without leagues. someone should inform him he's way out of mine
No, "because my penis told me to" is not an acceptable answer to that question
So ive narrowed my options down to getting food or masturbating. Don't judge me
We had to take the hinges off the bathroom door. Needless to say, you are no longer welcome at that bar
It was like we had a conversation with our eyes.
Was it a good conversation?
It was an awkward, sexual conversation.
Do you have a moment to talk about our lord and savior, Kendra's boobs?
Don't need my thirties to be known as the decade of "new types of shits from drinking" like last night.
Is it weird that sometimes I like to have sex for the health benefits and workout more than the pleasure
Text me later if you aren't dead and wanna have a drink later
I realize my mistake but don't you dare school me in cock, young man
If you wake up with half a an eyebrow.... I'm pretty sure it was a good time.
I may have passed out and puked all over the host's favorite couch, but three hours and a rip later, I was eating tiramisu in the bathtub with the birthday boy and a hot Italian.
Randomize
