What kind of poor, pathetic town do we live in where a horny teenage girl is sitting in her basement on a saturday night, unlaid?
she did the YMCA with her lgs... i think she forgot she wasnt wearing any underwear
The goblet must only be used for good. And vodka. And anything t-pain would be proud of.
Word is he has some crazy hawaiian STD
You three are like the Bermuda Triangle for morals.
Im celebrating the fact that the one guy who has ever denied me has just come out of the closet
I either just got free sex or a nice jail sentence. Text me in 10 to verify.
Actually I more feel like I'm on a ship about to grab the holy grail off an island
The ship is me being high the holy grail is some profound idea I'm about to have
So question... If I'm sexting with uncircumcised guy, do I have to add *then i gently pull your foreskin down*?
YOUR TITS WERE ON THE TABLE.
Just saw a couple chasing each other on lawn mowers. Oh South Knoxville.
and everyone will high five me and girls will approach me offering blowjobs
Apparently I handcuffed myself to the dishwasher...
You know something is wrong with your lifestyle when you have to clean easy Mac cheese powder off of your scale
at least it's not cocaine like last time
I’m never getting home or fucked or eating hot Taco Bell fml
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