well recently, every guy I have hooked up with has been economy sized
don't tell her this, but while we were doing it doggy style I picked up my phone and changed my status to "who let the dogs out"
I don't hate you. My dick is upset with you, but I don't hate you.
just saw a former disney star do a keg stand. her life choices have improved.
she was like the girl next door.. if you lived next door to a whorehouse
Your dad needs a mid life crisis affair thing, I could totally be that girl.
His "hunger Strike for change" lasted 4 days. Hi welcome to my coke binge last weekend....not impressed
Besides. I seriously had a dream that George W Bush came over and slapped some tabs down on my kitchen counter and said "let's get juiced.". It was a sign to not get too fucked up
The last thing I remember was doing a line in the shape of Texas
We went to IKEA super baked wearing fake mustaches. You?
So I walked in on her and she had taped her fingers together and was crying and was whispering something about "how humbling it is being in constant glove mode"
He's the stereotypical redneck. He tried to go kayaking during a storm and almost got into a fight when a park ranger tried to stop him
You know getting black out drunk at a cats birthday party should have been my lowest point drinking wise but some how I feel like last night was some how worse
all im saying is 27 is too old to still be drinking 40s, you make more money than me, buy some decent shit
screw you you golddigging beer snob
I'd rather plunge my eyes out than acknowledge being related to either of my brothers
Randomize
