alcohol turns me into mario batali of easy mac
either my laughing turned him on, or he wanted to shut me up. either way, i dont care. it was amazing.
And then he said "my dick isn't hard enough and your tits aren't big enough for this to work"
Just heard her singing at the school concert... I am honored my penis was touched by those pipes
he's dressed up as spiderman, i don't understand why he's crying.
one of the service guys here said i licked ranch off your face lastnight
I almost puked on my graduation application. perfect.
At the party. I feel like I just walked into a lifesize blunt.
I miss the good ol days when id just come home from school and thered be a costco size box of condoms on my bed.
my parents really loved me back then.
The neighbor just yelled bring me back that big red alien penis.
The girl neighbor.
Some girl woke me up at 1:30 am looking for weed and the next thing I know I'm in a hot tub with 3 girls, 2 40's, and a blunt.
Somehow reaching for the flaming hot cheetos ended up in the best sex of my life
Somehow, you looked so classy chugging that bottle of wine last night.
woke up. showered n got ready. had sex. and was still 15 minutes early to work... its gonna be a good day!
A guy at my table is reading a magazine called "Cheese Connoisseur"
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