belinda wants 2 know wr u got ur butt pads
i dont wear butt pads that thang is au naturel
Yeah...right...LMAO
Sorry about teling your dad i'd have sex with him last night in front of your mom while i was drunk
it wasn't sex, it was awkward naked time.
I love my roommate; her alcohol problem, her proclivity for passing out on the living room couch, and her fucking awesome size d tits that can never remain clothed. Craigslist jackpot.
Picking up hoes with my dad is going to make it a little harder, but ay, if thats how he wants to bond after 23 years, Ill give it a shot
She jumped on a table and took off her shirt and started yelling things that no one understood. For being 3, she has a dead on impression of a drunk party girl.
No just a slight sexual miscommunication which led to a little (lot) vomiting by one party and a bruised sternum on the other party involved.
I can't even make a guess how that goes.
Quick how do you hit on a guy in the car behind you? It's important.
So, just saw a lady hysterically sobbing in a Walmart at 3 AM. Someone's not having a happy mother's day.
First of all she starred talking about God which immediately killed my buzz
They cut me off when I tried to pee in the corner of the bar.
I thought he was a lobster and that the moon was going to pull me through him.
I don't think I should try acid.
well tomorrow I get to eat fungus and go to an abandoned city.
most people would fear that statement, but i wish to join you
We were high and the scary movies were scaring us too bad. Were all watching porn instead now
she said a prayer for the pipe you broke. she did the sign of the cross and everything
Randomize
