i think the world will end when pigs can fly. think about it, everyone says blah blah when pigs fly. so shit would be going down if they ever can.
oh fuck your right
I'm not sure where but someone shit somewhere in the house
...and all my boxers are outside in the snow because????
Woke up in my own bed with a "New Years Eve 2011" bar bracelet on. Both of these things confuse me.
I sat in the bathroom on the counter and gave out advice to all the random people that walked in
We still going to Happy Hour
Idk. I can't because it doesn't fit in my schedule of sleeping or throwing up
Also, just had a student offer to sell me Xanax. Want some? Just for like a rainy day. Or our memorial day shitshow. Or just another Wednesday night.
I call BS on that! THAT WAS TOTALLY AN INTERCEPTION. JENNINGS HAD THAT.
PEOPLE ARE FLIPPING FURNITURE HERE. IN THE ROOM ABOVE ME. I HEARD SOMEONE WOOKIE CALL IN ANGER FROM SOMEWHERE IN THIS BUILDING.
I'd be lying if I said I wasn't scared, even a little.
I played ping pong,drunk, with my hand instead of the paddle. And i won. I have hidden talents
You were telling me last night 101 proof was nothing and you needed 400 proof or better yet military or marine proof, because you're marine grade.... You rascal.
I'm puking in a turkey pan....
We found her on the doorstep. Just layin down going, "I made it home!! Aren't you proud??!"
I'll pay you to write the paper but not for sex. You should only get paid for something you work hard at.
Hey your work video crashed my computer. The 8 pornos running in the other window didn't. Congratulations.
Apparently I told him the people made me order taco bell I didn't even want it. And then proceeded to turn off all the lights and sit at the kitchen table in the dark and told him not to look at me.
The waxing lady fingered me during my brazilian. 40 dollars well spent
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