I walked in on my roommate finishing watching something on his computer. There was cum all over his screen. He awkwardly said hi and pulled up his pants.
I just put lube in Matt's bellybutton. He looks unhappy.
Laughlin, where retired strippers come to die.
It's just like the Real World with babies
I think I should have my paycheck direct deposited to the bar
Joey just asked me if I ever got anything stuck in my vag.
was it embarrassing when you had to say yes?
you went all the way to UK and still managed to hook up with someone from our highschool...
I felt kinda bad after screaming 'ITS MY BIRTHDAY TOO' while he was having a seizure in the front of the party bus.
I spiked my fruit smoothie. Taking bikini season diet to a whole new level
at least the person I hooked up with donates to charity, the shirt I was wearing this morning was his relay for life shirt.
Question: trumpet bong. Can it work.
Honestly, if you can handle putting socks on you can handle a condom.
Kids parked next to me are getting it on. I'm eating chicken nuggets listening to Kanye alone. Happy Valentine's Day.
His dick has the same name as my pipe. I'm keeping him forever.
Just showered and cleaned every bit of sex off of me cuz i have a feelin my stepmom has jesus powers and would be able to smell it on me
Randomize
