chasing shots of tequilla with sun chips. its doable but not recommended
Just found out I slapped a vegan in the face with meat last night.
He's trying to row the canoe up my front yard like he is Lewis and Clark.
i told you the emergency thong was a good idea.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
If I don't come back from Italy with aids I did somethign wrong
I'm not sure if it was sex or spear fishing. He goes in for it like he's crash landing a rocket
My period started right as he was entering, which really helped me sell the "I've never done this before" bit.
I'm getting turned down for sex. Apparently my "sexual appetite" cannot be satiated even by a man who's such a deviant he went to prison for jerking off in his car.
he said he needs a little more pabst, some time to jack off and a sandwich and he'll be ready
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
she just nodded and said "yeah, I'd fuck him for a reese's peanut butter cup". it's so nice to know I'm not the biggest whore living here
Heard you were the one that shit off Jamie's balcony. FYI there is a cabbie down here out for blood
Halloween is the end of the singles holidays they don't start again until st. Patrick's day we better get wifed up or it's going to be a long winter lol
Note to self: trying to grow pubes back = worst decision of 2014 thus far
When she tells her friend, "hey I'll be back tomorrow, just going to fuck a guy", right in front of you, you know you've got a winner.
You have the most beautiful penis I've ever seen. I never thought penises were meant to be beautiful, but you proved me wrong
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