Well i threw up in my mouth a few times. But i successfully swallowed it. Still going strong.
I am spending my child support on dildos
I wish Facebook had filters like: Ivy League school, frat boy, straight, extremely wealthy, great in bed.. I would check all of them
I just sneezed and had an orgasam..THAT turned on
if women knew the size of my dick, theyd be much more receptive to my sloppy drunken advances
It's sad really how 5 am brings with it a distinction from drunken to pathetic.
you dont understand this isnt a sit at a sports bar eating wings and having a beer night. this is a show up to the bar with a fith of Jack and just let what happens happen kinda night. im expecting to smack a bouncer
Ok let me change into clothes i can run in
Apparently we were just playing "bang a bridesmaid". I'm not sure if I won or lost...
Slept with my first Irish dude before I even got off the plane. Dublin has no idea what I have in store for it.
Dammit labor day drinking cancelled due to 3 inch long table saw cut to palm
He's holding a pee stick. Yes it's weird.
Friend as in 'I used to have sex with her' or friend as in 'I still want to have sex with her'?
Turns out that fresh outta jail dick is quite something.
Had to claim I'd "gone lesbian" to get my cat back. Thank God I got away from that one.
Is it sad that the most attractive guy I've come across in a week that's not my professor is the man doing my pedicure?
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