is it considered a "problem" when you find a pickle slice in your bed in the morning or is it like a "super-awesome bonus"?
she's got that wholesome 16 and pregnant look.
my mom hid the smirnoff from me. this is the most fucked up game of hide and seek EVER
At best buy, little boy just crawled into my stall while i was taking a shit
If i come home from court on friday.. i'm definitely doing something illegal.
The gym is handing out free condoms this week, motivation to work out this week?
Let's paint friendship bongs
I have stripper ass cheeks all over my glasses
After we had sex he told me it was a "goodbye gift". We haven't talked since.
I don't know. I'm drunk and dressed as a pirate but ill do the math tomorrow morning.
Strip club or gay bar tonight?
I am an emotionally compromised bisexual.
And why in he fuck did I get 'dick' in Romanian tattooed on my forearm
The last I heard from her she said she was going to plant sunflowers, get drunk on white wine and listen to Everybody Wants to Rule the World on repeat.
So I'm never gonna get to see you again?
Hopefully.
I asked him if we were exclusive and he followed up with, "If a tree falls in the woods and no ones around, does it still make a sound?" Wtf am I supposed to do with that?!
Randomize
