dude i just saw a drunk guy attempt to get by IUPD and throw a uprooted bleacher seat over the edge of the stadium. funniest thing of life.
details please.
they caught him 10 rows from the top. the first thing he said was "wait I can explain, i just have to throw this over first."
It feels like Jesse James cheated on America.
You were plastered and wouldn't stop telling this hot girl about your plan to graffiti a church in easter colored spray-paint saying that Jesus was a Zombie... she kept saying her father was a pastor...
Gentleman, we have a new medal category - number of women per day in apartment WITHOUT FURNITURE
shes the only person ive ever met that could make "i don't swallow" sound sexy
We tried to make a sex tape, but we were hammered and she forgot to take the cap off the camera. Somebody starts snoring 10 minutes in.
There is a literally infinite number of spliffs going around this table.
Delicious
I feel like I'm at a sushi bar with a spliff belt.
Whiskey and I have a long and stories tradition of excellence
If for no other reason than to cuddle with that puppy, you have to hook up with him again.
I'm pretty sure I just crapped out my pancreas. I have 2 of those, right?
Heard you were the one that shit off Jamie's balcony. FYI there is a cabbie down here out for blood
You never know true fear until you're on your period in a house full of white furniture.
I accidentally left my shirt at my booty calls house. He washed it & hung it up for me in his closet. I can't decide if that's sweet or creepy
FUCK YEAH PUPPY BOWL
Wanna get business drunk and go play golf?
Randomize
