Did the walk of shame past her kids. I'm younger than one of them.
Is it bad everytime a fat person orders fraps I want to tell them to slow their rolls
I just had a cup of orange juice and thought it didnt taste right. It didnt have vodka in it.
She told me I reminded her of the fair. And she wanted to deep fry my dick and eat it.
She had to leave early so she could get ready for her high school's homecoming. I hope her date likes sloppy seconds.
i said she could sleep in my bed and she goes "iiiiiiii warned you. iiiiim a cuddlerrrrrr!" slightly regretting this..
If she asks the cat was vomiting before I fed it fried calamari
I feel like everything I touch in this bar I'm gonna get hepatitis. my kinda joint
Good idea. You gotta take care of your vagina. She takes care of you. Pay it forward.
He took a picture with a naked dude. I think he just walked out of that deep ginger closet.
I just crawled out of bed at 5AM to make her a peanut butter and Nutella sandwich. Somewhere in the distance, I could hear whips cracking.
So my roommate and I have a written agreement stating that if he tries to sleep with his ex girlfriend, I have to immediately intervene and nut punch him then send her on her way.
this is the most serious roommate agreement ever
They had like literally all the dildos. It looked like a seance for dick. I left the apartment and haven't been back.
Doing a walk of shame at Wal-Mart at 3:30am because when I left at 11pm I was getting milk
I think I left my bra and my crocs in your room
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