If I were a woman I'd fill my water bra with liquor so that I could sip on it throughout the day.
I hate having morals and standards the next morning.
The remote chance that I may get a blowjob is about the only reason I have a shower every day.
If I can't get a one-legged man to love me, what the hell chance do I have with a NORMAL guy???
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
her cat watched me eat her out... I would use the alternate term for both of those things but it's too weird.
I'm gonna have to fantasize about her dying just to get off.
Im having a christmas reunion party tonight. Last year i ate my own contact. We'll see how this year goes
I have too much respect and admiration for my dick to put it into a situation where he could possibly be killed
You're alright. You just passed out while we were having sex. Then I'm pretty sure you peed. So I went home.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
dude, we need a reunion soon, my vagina needs a deep massage. The kitty is ready to play
Plus he stuck it in when you were sleeping which would have been the tipping point for me but you art school kids are all liberal and shit
My plan for the weekend: 1) Get shit faced in Vegas. 2) Not die
We tried to do sophisticated last night, but our low class kept shining through.
I was on the verge of being completely over him and then he went and made his Instagram not private... ITS LIKE HE KNEW
There's a random table in the kitchen...and it's not the kitchen table...we don't know where it came from
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