I pooped in a mop bucket.
WTF???
Their employee restroom was locked what kind of customer service is that
nailed a girl as she was wearing a darth vader shirt. Cross that one off my list.
If we keep treating our bodies like amusement parks we have another 10 years left at best.
just smash crush and snort whatever we can get our paws on
I knew I fell for you for a reason
I haven't been able to trust a girl since spanks came out
Ok...drunk girls at the bar are charging $1 for motorboating. It's fucking WEDNESDAY. I never want to leave.
I just passed a truck with its bed lined with a tarp and filled with water with six dudes chilling in the back driving through campus. That looks fun.
Her boobs take up a lot of room so God had to skimp on the brains
Just saw an all male dolphin threesome from underwater viewing
So, last night I fell asleep sitting Indian-style on the floor, propped up against the front of the couch with an empty wine bottle in between my legs... How was your night?
Our DD will meet us there. The strippers are sending a limo to pick him up. He promised them New Years Eve massages. Said he would still drive us home.
I just laughed so hard that my back cracked so hard that I thought I was cumming. Magic
You would only karaoke to Spanish songs, but sang with the accent of the french candle stick in beauty and the beast.
you grabbed the breathalyzer at dinner, blew a 0.20 and told the waitress you'd eat her ass
I fucked a French man last night. 5 Times. Ashed my cig in his cactus. That later set on fire while we were having sex.
Randomize
