I'm going to jail i love you
I bet he comes in French.
At least I can take solace in the fact that with 8 billion some odd people in the world, at least one of them is shitting in their own car right now.
some girl in front of me in class just googled "hungover+throwing up blood"
im so poor im using the bottom of my laptop to heat my food.
i screwed him while his gf was puking in the shower. 2011 is looking up already
I tried to interpretive dance to Candy Shop to stop the awkwardness.
We had hangover sex and then I called a taxi home. Told him I didn't want his number because, if it was meant to be, we would fuck again. He called me the queen of one night stands.
I'm a male taking pregnancy tests with every girl at the party. i have no regrets
I think your dad took our porno
It's important to establish I slept with her BEFORE we officially became cousins-in-law.
I went out with a plan. I came home with a Brian. THIS WAS NOT PART OF THE PLAN.
Sorry for trying to baptize you last night
You knew the entire thing in Latin I was so impressed
I just said "you do you" to my penis.
last night we watched this really loud chick try and pick up this smoking french guy who's english was sooo bad. she finally pointed at her beer and then her vagine
gross
like you've never done an interperative dance for sex, please
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