I got into my dads silver toyota in the back seat to get picked up and 2 mins later I asked my dad when are we leaving, then an old mexican woman turned around. wrong toyota I'm guessing.
super high. so of course there was a shoot out at the bank. there are 20 cop cars no lie. if i make it out of this i will never smoke again
what is the most politically correct way to ask if he still hangs out with the guy that has blue hair and make meth in his car?
MISSING: One left eyebrow. Reward if returned.
Should I have a moral quandary about Skyping topless with him while his son slept in the other room?
I was basically shocked at how calmly you accepted my violently shoving a french fry in your mouth.
I told him he deserved someone better...then I told him he looked very fuck-able wearing nothing but sweat pants. We'll break up in the morning.
Found a phone out last night at the bar. EPIC homemade porn vids on it!
She walks around topless and loves making sandwiches. That's how a one-night stand turned intoa relationship
On another note I am sitting in my bed naked, buzzed, and working on a notecard for my 8:00am test tomorrow. I think I need to make better choices.
I am 5' 11" of pure, uncut Fuck Off right now.
Did we actually play with swords last night or did I dream that?
I think that maybe Alyssa may of had too much to drink. is it normal for her to straddle random people in quizno's?
DRUNK COOKIES
Are you drunk or are the cookies drunk or are these cookies that get you drunk?
Yes
I’m making a jello mold of my penis
Will it be as disappointing as your actual penis?
Randomize
