"Morning after" poops are always like, interesting.
my FASA form asked what i spent the majority of my 08 earnings on, im tempted to put "booze, blow, & blunts"
I still cannot believe I yelled at every guy at the bar "you wanna get in this clam?!"
I have pictures of you taking tequila shots off the front of the police car when the cop wasn't looking.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
One is full of apple juice. One is full of tequila. This is real russian roulette my friend.
I know how I'm going to make my fortune.. designing an icepack made specifically for the vagina.
I'd be careful with that one, she got 86'd from the family dollar while SOBER.
You made me drive your car so you could give the dude from the parking lot a BJ in the back seat. Classy.
17. The number of times my one night stand told me he loved me.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
For not really liking Christmas, I have an astounding amount of holiday-themed lingerie
I did this clutch move yesterday at the bar where I grabbed a plastic cup for water and discreetly threw up in it while walking around and then tossed it. It was my best boot and rally ever
Im pretty sure breakfast wine is a thing, and if it isn't, I just invented it
I wish I was taller so I could give these boobs the publicity they deserve.
thanks for letting me have sex in your bed, too bad you didn't get to yet
who are you?
Fuck you bitch. You're married. You got a live-in dick at home for your needs. I still gotta surf this shitty town's bars for cock
Randomize