whats wrong with me. i have a coffee mug of wine in the library and i'm doing homework
New years is officially the only time its okay to drunk dial your parents.
i have wind burn on my face from my head hanging out the window of the cab vomitting
Dude I need help. What word is complimentary, but sounds like "chunky"?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
we got plastered, then made lists of anything thats ever been in our vaginas
I know. Brad is upset because he was lower on the list than "that carrot stick"
Found myself carrying 2 bottles of .89 euro wine about half a mile to where im staying. and someone stopped me and spoke to english. apparently, i reek of drunk american.
Three guys came up to me at the bar and started dancing on me, while screaming "Johnson's girl." That's the last time I sleep with a freshmen.
Still breathing?
Still breathing , but quite out of it. I think I hallucinated like 20 action sequences.
What.
At a bar across from the city police station. I PROMISE I will do something great.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
driving home hungover today was like a life test..it was like the goblet of fire
What is the proper Father's Day protocol when you're sleeping with a guy who has kids?
I would professionally fuck the shit out of her
He washed his dick in my kitchen sink after sex. I think he might be a keeper.
I have wine with a bendy straw bitches I can do fucking anything
I was sitting down, taking a piss with a boner, her cat walked into the bathroom and walked up to my legs, I sneezed and pissed all over her cat through between the toilet seat and bowl, it ran off screeching. She thought I peed on her cat on purpose. Kicked me out
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