I hate ducks.
What?
they're sketch. like squirrels. squirrels are sketch as fuck.
Just kissed her with a dip in my mouth... She was either too drunk to notice or too cool to care
I can mark tailgating, going to the game and getting road head off my to do list today
college drinking is stealing all my money, thank god planned parenthood is somewhat free
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Apparently I climbed into a dryer last night and refused to leave... There are pictures to prove it
I just fucked my ex's ex's ex. Love quadrilateral complete
Nothing ends a night of heavy drinking better than banging to three six mafia in your own driveway
I just came so hard I growled. Definitely found my gspot.
The police report said "I asked the suspect if he had any identification. He replied yes and gave me a Pizza Hut gift card"
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I want to sit on top of her nipple mountains and reenact the Ricola commercial.
Im gonna go lick parts of my apartment. Good night and be ever vigilant, you never know when I'm coming to epoxy your hand to you nipple.
That kid singlehandedly fucked the breakup right out of me. I'm only hooking up with Millenials from here on out.
I just realized I haven't looked at our horoscopes lately. If mine says anything about tweakers, I'm burning my phone.
Oh shit oh shit oh shit.
BURN THE PHONE.
How drunk you think somebody has to be, that they think that putting out a profile pic like that can be even a slightly good idea?
The people above me are fucking to Miley Cyrus
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