Get out of your relationship and into my pants.
Most guys don't get turned on by "skinny, gangly legged girl with glasses laying in bed touching herself." You better start working on your diction if you're gonna keep up the sexting.
I even resorted to pole dancing with the street sign. I have an extra $20 now because I think people were paying me to leave.
Definitely contact high. Thirty miles an hour listening too i can see clearly now wanting too eat the steering wheel
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I'm sneaking you alcohol into a hospital. This either says love or "we have a problem"
i never thought i could drink so much vodka in 8 minutes
i woke up with 5 inch heels locked on my feet and my car keys missing. this is gonna be an interesting walk home
I hate being the only medical professional in the group. I always end up patching you guys or being the DD when I'm on call. I have problems I need to drown in booze too...
I can't take my grandparents out somewhere where I've fucked half the staff.
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you went to ralph's and bought all of their pears and left them outside my house
I would professionally fuck the shit out of her
yo dude not sure how this happened but im drunk at your house eating burritos with your mom and sister. hope you're having fun in new zealand
I'm not wearing pants, but I'm wearing a tiara.
One minute I'm going home the next I'm getting railed on the back 9.
I CAN SEE SO MANY PENISES. There are so many visible penises here.
Where are you???
Yoga class :(
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