she was hot for a redneck and i dont look at teeth
Just FYI I rubbed poison oak on all your sheets and blankets so we all will know who you hooked up with (in about a day)
My Higher Power is John Stamos
I just got three quarters of the way there before I realized I was way too stoned for class so I bought a smoothie and walked home.
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Hold on im havin a staring contest with my cat
I don't think he realizes it but he was stroking the faucet while he was talking to me.
hung over. covered in somebodies makeup. and ready to drink.
Saw a guy throw up on himself while walking, drinking, and singing all at the same time. Hope your night is going better than his :)
I was to tired to jerk him off, so he made me hold it while he thrusted into my hand.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Don't think anyone else in the building has a lunchbox full of yay
Hey there's a sandwich in there too!
I knew no one else would have gone along with it since it's morally wrong and probably illegal. You said, "Yes. And let's add fireworks."
I'm just trying my hardest not to get addicted to drugs or pregnant and all your other friends are out there getting married
You know just a typical night. Eating peanut butter off of tablespoons and having sex to our favorite Christmas carols. This is my favorite time of year.
Boobs have been pretty central in my life somehow lately which makes me question if I am truly gay
I'm by myself. some Midwest chick is hitting on me because I gave her a deviled egg. I need the distraction.
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