I passed out in the cab. Woke up to the cabby yelling SIR SIR WE ARE AT THE TRAIN STATION!! SIRRRR!!
I figured he was gay when I walked in on him working out to Flirty Girl Fitness.
and then you yelled "out of the way, i'm a lifeguard!" and everyone let us through
Get here now. This is going to be possibly my most dangerous idea ever, and I'm the guy who challenged a hobo to a breakdance fight.
My present? It was a fake boarding pass he made in Photoshop. He litterally just gave me a one way ticket to Pound Town
Ahahhahaha I'm not that stupid but then again I thought cabo was in Africa until yesterday
I'm figuring, since someone shoved pizza crust in my ear last night, there might be some leftover pizza.
We won't have time to talk.. I'll be rolling you a blunt and you'll be getting naked.
It probably would have happened but I just can't picture myself losing my virginity while laying on top of his Quiksilver duvet set.
he just cleaned his wound with pinnacle whipped
STOP GETTING GIRLS PREGNANT IN MY BED.
sorry i got drunk at sunday brunch and force fed carrot sticks to your cat
my boobs just made me lose a game of beer pong. the balls hit them, bounced off and into the cup. twice. ive never been so disappointed in them.
You're a problem for me, dick game too good. In the future when I'm with someone I actually wanna to date, now I'm gonna compare.
He can move his dick. Like on its own. WHY DID I NOT GIVE BLOWJOBS BEFORE?!
Randomize
