so... how was it???
he had bart simpson sheets. he had itunes on shuffle and "don't worry be happy" started playing when he took his boxers off. sad to say i was neither worried nor happy
Did he make you just lay your head next to his cock and talk to it again?
you think that next time i come over to do this you can pick up the condom wrappers you used on the other girls
Girl just walked into the bar with a T-shirt that says "I'm not Irish, kiss me anyways." Target aquired.
I found your wallet in my underwear drawer......... Don't worry I don't plan on asking any questions
Come make me food. I feel like if I go in the kitchen I will just get Gin.. and pass out in there.
Is it acceptable to cry on a Friday or am I supposed to drink to forget it?
This guy at the airport was telling me 3/4 dudes in his group got rufied at some strip club. One guy woke up in the hospital, another found himself in a random parking garage, the other got back to the room and they all shit their pants. Go Vegas.
You rolled onto your side and told me 'this is the recovery position'. That was after you were stoned. You've done this way too much.
I blew past the Governor's motorcade going twice the speed limit and DIDN'T get a ticket. God wants me to get laid.
But seriously I might need help getting spray paint off of my body.... But don't worry about the penis I scrubbed him already
I take Paypal, cash, sexual favors, and roasted red potatoes with garlic as payment. You choose.
What was I even doing in 2010?! I feel like that's a question I should be able to type into the Facebook Search bar
its 8 and I'm HUNGOVER!! how is that possible??
was that you i just saw walking down the street in only one heel smoking a cig yelling "hello sexuals" to everyone who passed??
HELLLLLO SEXUAL BEING
Randomize
