My booty call said shes done doing the walk of shame. Wtf is that?
It's what anyone that sleeps with you, specifically, does when they leave. Some do it even when they just think of you.
My balls are about to become a huge part of your mouth's life
just won a stolen shopping cart in a dance off in a parking lot.
Wow, Pearl Harbor and The Notebook are on. Its like the Im going to kill myself marathon.
She always acts like she's doing me a favor with a hand job. I've been giving myself hand jobs for almost 20 years.
Probably shouldn't have worn my jeans covered in blood from last night to class.
Standing on the street at 6am in Hong Kong drinking beer. Watching all the hookers do the walk of shame from our hotel. How did I get here? Maybe all my bad choices in my life were really good ones?
Your friend, the one I told I would brush his teeth with my tongue, what's his name again?
Just walked in on him banging another girl. He told me " sorry but I'm gonna finish now that I'm caught" ...... I think this is the reason god gave me four older brothers....
i thought you were just a really comfy body pillow until i sobered up. oops.
I fucked her ex bc she fucked mine but now we're cool and I'm watching her dog this weekend
Why does my nose taste spicy?
How do you know what your nose tastes like?
So I figured out why that guy from Tinder stopped messaging me back. He got married.
Youre saying I should leave him? Have you seen the dating pool these days? It's terrifying, and in the capital region it's straight Norman Bates
Last night I had a dream that a man with an ice cream body entered a bicycle throwing contest and won.
Randomize
