Marg and I just meaowed the nat anthem. I was tenor.
'm tripping baaaaaaaaaaaaaaas
her fupa was seducing me. this is the last time i'm doing shrooms.
my grandma was just praying before dinner, and before she could finish my gpa lifted his glass and said 'and here's to avatar!'
I found a big gulp cup full of vomit in my freezer, are you behind this?
He kept waking up periodically throughtout the night to bit my ear and pass back out.
were you high?
When?
Actually just blanket yes to that question
Well after last night I am convinced he is real life Tyler Durden. He only exists to me and somehow keeps me out of jail this entire time
What the hell do I have to give up to manifest a dick
They were arguing about who would hit the piñata first so naturally you tore it open with your hands. You broke the piñata and their hearts.
Imagine Arby's curly fries spiraled around a dick
This strange Italian man told me he wants to take me for ice cream and kept calling me "tomato" from tinder
Knows all the good gay bars AND has a dog? Wtf can't I drop pizza on guys like that????
She dated an Australian guy or some dude with an accent. Normal guys don't stand a chance.
CHALLENGE ACCEPTED.
Like how do you live your life and have never made a grilled cheese? The audacity of some people
I went with vodka instead of tequila tonight so I make better decisions. Fool proof plan.
Randomize
