I'm already going to be stripping so like pretty much you would just be watching me. Also we're watching twilight. again.
I just saw Sharon Stone's cootch in high def. I think I'll stay gay.
someone shit in a solo cup and left it at the base of the stairs. fuck orlando dude.
just watched paranormal activity stoned. laughed the whole time and screamed when they turned on the lights. eating doritos. I love my life
so when we were booking the hotel and plane tickets for vegas we reserved a chapel for someone, it's inevitable.
I am telling you that nothing wakes you up like stomach acid exiting your nostrils at 10AM
she called for a booty call so i sent mike as my stunt double
I like the odds of his and my children being professional athletes too. To support me in my old age, see I do think about the future.
she doesn't even know what year it is. She just stumbles around life with a bottle of rum
for once I'd like a one night stand where I don't meet the guys mom or wife in the morning
Can you come unlock the door? I just peed myself on the porch.
I hope Trump leaves Planned Parenthood alone for at least another month. The week got away from me. #whorelando
you gave me money for the cab and then walked home..
Wearing my one sleeve dress...thought you'd like to know I shaved ONE armpit lol
And our sex soundtracks thus far have been metal and Star Wars
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