discovery: the myth about swedish girls giving good head? not a myth.
So, how do I go about conveying: I'm sorry, yet very glad she is having my abortion. Via text msg?
haha the sad thing is i can't decide whats worse. the fact that you're drunk judging a science fair or the fact that i'm really proud of you for it.
She alternated between blowing me and feeding me bites of the sandwich she made for me.
hotel security told us you walked into the hotel with blood all over your dress, weren't wearing any underwear and were escorted back by three men who were believed to be "homosexuals".
We called dibs on each other's genitals. That bond is unbreakable.
I'm with some lesbians. Somehow I offended them and the Justin Beiber one told me I was fat.
She needs sedatives and a leash
Last night dinner was cinnamon buns and whiskey. At least tonight I had a fajita with my cookies and tequila. I may be a little stressed about these end of semester tests.
I mean your new thing is losing body parts and feeling colors so its not like we are hurting for entertainment
I had a dream I gave a blow job to a guy whose dick forked off into two. I'm going to spend the rest of my life confused.
You're an independent woman who is defined by her own actions and not by whether or not you have a man. You also have great tits.
I was gonna make a strong case for you to be my midnight kiss, but poptarts sound good too
He stole my heart. I stole his identity.
I love FaceTime, every time you ring me the morning after its like I went home with your one night stand too.
Randomize
