Mel Gibson is dating a 24 year old
You're not Mel Gibson and I'm not 24.
Tell me why I go to the dollar store for nail polish remover and a ghetto black dude trys to hit on me in the parking lot, then he gets in line behind me with a dousche bag literally and that is his only purchase.
For the millionth time in his career, Brett Favre has screwed over the Vikings
have u ever looked at the reflection of the water n watched the poop come out of u?
why can't you just be normal
What do you want me to say to her? "Oh hey, I need to borrow your soon to be husband to make a porn, cool?"
Where are you, who is in my bed, why is he wearing a spandex onesie as underwear, how did i get teethmarks on my forehead, what are we doing tonight?
You hopped on the counter after puking, and told us you were wearing bare feet and didn't want to be alone.
I'm not a home wrecker but if one more married man with a yacht asks me to go scuba diving I'm NOT saying no
I found my spirit animal in the shower. It's a sloth/bear that lives in my chest.
He called some chick he used to fuck for cash to get food delivered to cheer me up
Ryan Reynolds is on sesame street right now. Dressed as a letter A but still sexy as fuck. PBS is so considerate of the stay at home mom.
She had a belly button piercing in the shape of a cross. Talk about mixed messages.
In my opinion the party was fun, but i did A LOT of cocaine so my view was a little distorted......
I am in serious pain and you're making dick jokes. I hope you wind up with crotch rot.
Pretty sure my boss knows there's Jack smell coming out of my pores right now... He just gave me a look...
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