You remember correctly you did get a golf cart ride out but it wasnt because you were special. You were so smashed you were screaming tiger at random golfers in the middle of there backswing.
hes a good boy he deserves a good blow
my goal is to not remember how i make a living by 9pm saturday night
It's official. 2011 is the year of sport fucking
Please make the clown in the corner stop judging me. I mean he's the one with paint on his face. I don't need him judge judying me.
I'm so hungover that if we go to panera, I'll probably get a bread bowl to throw up in.
Last time I went to flagstaff I threw up in my beard. I would very much like to recreate that moment.
We smoked bowls and watched Cops for what seemed like hours. And yet I know I'll go back.
I'm working on a search warrant...can u pick up box of Chardonnay...I'll give u cash when u get here...
Yea... I love that ur a prosecutor and drink box wine
Is this a Beer, Vodka or Whiskey kind of problem solving night? It's imperative I stock accordingly.
Questions like that are why I love you.
My Sexting was not on an AP level
there's a 50/50 chance the night will end in alcohol-induced rituals of satanic nature
Have you heard yourself have sex?
I'm not THAT loud...
My neighbors filed a noise complaint.
I can't tell if my need for dick is more than my want to strangle him
I really need to stop turning to the BDSM dungeon masters of tinder whenever my heart hurts
Randomize
