hooked up with a girl who spoke elfish last night..what up 8th grade lord of the rings fantasies
I don't remember her missing an ear while we were at the bar
My patience ran out after you started clapping at the strippers everytime they took off a piece of clothing.
Talking to a male stripper. About the LSAT. Only in Vegas.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
you should be careful. everyone knows your chances of pregnancy increase by 100 percent when youre the daughter of a religious figure
at what point last night did i decided to have a photo shoot with your camel toe
he fucked me so hard i could feel my pelvis shifting. like i legit feel more prepared for childirth now
Like hey, "you just spent $135k to go to a nobody law school to drive a mini van, be a dj, live in a smalllll ass apartment that smells like cats and your girlfriend fucks other guys."
only thing in my fruit bowl is 4 champagne corks and a jenga piece . Tuesday.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
What's the worst that could happen? I'm already broke and my leg's already broken
Like these jerks could have told me it wasn't a video call, I wouldn't have put on pants.
Do him. As soon as possible and as often as possible. That's what Oprah would say
I AM GONNA CUM EVERYWHERE TONIGHT BRO.
I made soup. Now I'm having post soup making wine. I had pre soup making wine also.
New life goal: Sex in a parking lot surrounded by a circle of fire.
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