I hope my future cuntsucker is that tight
If you really hate me that much, you need to stop letting me put my penis inside of you. It sends the wrong message.
I'm gonna write a book, Things that go bump in the night: The story of Katelyn. Chapter one, my roommate is a dumb whore.
as he pulled out he yelled "no kids!" and then passed out on top of me
Last time we were that stoned we made a "everything you can fit in the blender" shake. Didn't end well..
At least I tried to be smart when I brought the alarm clock into the bathroom just in case I fell asleep.
I know and I love you for your valets putting your thong on your seat
Dont get mad at me, it takes two to tango
IT TAKES ONE TO EJACULATE INTO THE OTHER WITHOUT CONSENT, AND SPOILER ALERT, ITS THE ONE WITH A SCROTUM FULL OF SEMEN.
Our innocent game of 'Duck, duck, booze.' ended up not being so innocent
more embarrassing than that time i showed up to class in my hoodie and leggings because i over slept, and then as i zipped my hoodie down i realized i didn't sleep with a bra on or a shirt
Today was my cousin's Kindergarten graduation. I happen to also think of it as a MILF convention.
dude, my hangover is telling me there was tequila involved
Honestly I have a huge freedom boner right now and if I came it would be red white and blue
He fell asleep during FOREPLAY. Sober!!!
Im outta here as soon as my phone charges wtf
Did I honestly think it was a good idea to wear my pink robe out in public at 2 in the morning ?
Randomize
