everyone made a circle around them and startd chanting fight fight. they wernt fighting, they were dry humping
Out of all the things I've put my penis in, this seems the most unfortunate.
I just dropped off shoes at Mike's hotel. The chick he hooked up with last night stole his phone and shoes.
some guy had a sword and everyones crying..it turned bad..fast.
No. Cease was criminally insane from birthday shots, and not a lot of women want to go home from the bar with a guy who wants to "snuggle but keep it strictly professional".
I have what looks like a rubber stamp mark on my cock from last night that says "Magic Marla Approved" Do we know a Marla?
just in the smoking shack with my sister cheering on a caterpillar make its cocoon
I am putting together a break up mix and its pretty much the best of Phil Collins
Sunday mornings are confusing. Like. I can't decide if I want to go for a run or start drinking
I got your flops too. But yeah you rolled off your raft a bunch of times so we had to ask the white trash squad to help you back on. You bit one of them
He was going down on me and all I could think about was how proud of me you'd be
with the way the semester is going, being a stripper is starting to sound better and better everyday
No clue what you did last night, sorry. You did hand me a pizza and a mason jar with $1200 in small bills in it when I let you in though.
When do you estimate your next shower will be? Several people have asked.
In other news, I’ve officially fucked a grandpa.
Randomize
