ive come to realize my hair is a lot like my vagina. i put a bunch of shit in it with no result
so last night after we hooked up i got my period and woke up this morning with a blood stain on his bed and not only was it huge but i had put my jeans back on before bed so i took the walk of shame with period stained pants
Hooked up with my first aid and cpr teacher last night. She dressed as a lifeguard and brought me back to life. Beat that.
this year's halloween challenge: make audrey hepburn go from classy to slutty drunk
you are not perverted enough for this relationship to work out.
I come bearing gifts of whiskey and vagina
He's saved in my phone as 'MURICA. I think it's safe to say I'm not exactly taking him seriously.
Friend as in 'I used to have sex with her' or friend as in 'I still want to have sex with her'?
How much booze could a drunk brad chug when a drunk brad does chug booze?!?
All. The answer is always all
I think he might be using me for sex. I also think I might be ok with that.
What happened?
New Orleans
Every time
So pro tip. do not order drugs from india and then assume you know your tolerance level.
Did you leave a mouse under my pillow again?
He made me spaghetti, gave me wine and I fucked him on the floor, Is that a fair trade of services to you?
Bad part of last night: I puked in my hair. Good part of last night: I assembled a posse.
You kept pulling me aside saying "look what I found"
Randomize
