It's like the water temple from zelda. but with more tits.
Its like they don't get that I only talk to them before homecoming, thanksgiving, or any other time I go home. I love highschool girls.
It is official. It's the year of doin married chicks. Similar to the year of virgins but without all the baggage.
she drove 3 hrs one way just to sleep with me. I felt bad complaining about paying for condoms.
constantly striving to make life awkward and more complicated, one drunk bone at a time.
I accidentally lit my hair on fire and we broke the bed. How was your night?
No. Cease was criminally insane from birthday shots, and not a lot of women want to go home from the bar with a guy who wants to "snuggle but keep it strictly professional".
I'm two sheets to the sexual wind
Either she's trying to smother me and failing, or she just has a really bad sense of where her tits should go.
My stripper pole led lights flash with the sound so it's awsome with music
He's going to find out eventually, but really what's he going to do? Cry about it and buy another fucking kitten??
I broke her handcuffs. I feel like an animal.
tbh i just wanted to fuck a guy with forearm tattoos but then he was so FORWARD about it
And then he served me a piece of a brownie on his dick. It tasted amazing. Such a good night!
I'm sitting in the car vaping at an elementary school to try and deal with the stress of existing. About how i thought being 30 would go for me tbh
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