Now hope fervently that she'll do it quick and cheap, just the way i like it
NEED BACKUP we are in the kitchen arguing about who would win in fight against lil Wayne and snoop dog
So this girl in my math class just went to the bathroom, tampon in hand, comes back with it still in her hand starts digging around in her purse, takes her thing of birthcontrol out, goes oh fuck, and downs the rest of the pills. Got to love college.
don't worry dude, we didn't fuck on your bed out of respect for you
couldn't find a condom?
basically
I forgot to tell you thank you for putting me out when I was on fire. im sure I'll laught about this someday...
I understand why they say don't drink the water in Mexico... I just saw 5 guys piss upstream of where the bar tender went to get the water
It's 3:30pm, I've been out of bed for an hour and spent most of that barfing. We're switching to beer next debate.
He is full of southern hospitality and I want to be full of him.
I am walking funny today. And it's sad because it's from the bad encounter with the sidewalk rather than a good encounter with a stripper
I'm sure I'll run in to him again, there's only so many VA detoxes.
it went well until I said "me" instead of "my" and he kept sexting me in character as a pirate
I thought you couldn't go near Germans after that restraining order
help. there is a guy in a bunny costume.
Kids music just accidentally came on at this party. I didn't know how many stoners were here until they all sang along.
We won like $80 last night at the casino, so if we get the Plan B we still have enough to get your basic bitch latte from Dunkin. Calm down.
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