help me. he won't leave me alone. he just licked my ear and he's so drunk. get him off me. we're in the closet. help.
I find it funny that "sexual harassment" contains the phrase "ass sex". Let me know what your thoughts are on the matter.
you had a panic attack, pissed yourself, and started crying. you never go above the kiddie level of my lil bros schools haunted house ever again.
round 2?
EVER.
Nick just found a baggie of 3 year old shrooms in his desk drawer and downed it all with cheap white wine. I am not on vomit duty tonight.
my mom just told me its unladylike to have toothpaste stains on my clothes all the time.. if she only knew.
She cried. My mom screams. And nut went everywhere. It was all around a bad situation.
well you decided to make everyone "drinks" which was sprite and beer mixed.
He fell asleep and I'm awkwardly laying here because all I have to wear is my tutu. I'm pretty sure his roommate is going to be back soon so this should be fun. This is my life now. PS. the background of his phone is a picture of his hedgehog.
just got home. some guy on my porch is tryin to show me his balls. no more parties at my apartment.
got fuckng wasted at spring training, got a lap dance at le girls, got a burrito at filibertos, and still made it to my 5 o'clock eco class wearing a bikini top....I love Arizona State University
It's probably because the lack of alcohol in your stomach. Alcohol kills bacteria. I am a doctor. Trust me
I'm sorry, but the "Hobbit Slam" has to be a sex move.
You thought you were Snapchating on your tablet, but were really just poking John Stamos' face on my Full House dvd case...
I am so stoned. And there are so many white people in this Jack in the Box.
i woke up this morning with a fake eyeball in my pocket
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