She might as well just lie down with one of those red "Easy Buttons" next to her
Spotted at kelly concert- 10 year old in a homemade "I do not hook up" t shirt. Well I should certainly hope not, sweetheart.
i just googled the alphabet. i couldnt remember if it was jklomnop or jklmnop.
i wrote down the address for planned parenthood on the back of the receipt for the condom that broke
She spilled creme de menthe on her crotch and I told her she looked like a menstruating Vulcan (costume idea!). Obviously, I went home alone.
Im currently watching two girls making out. In the library. Hope your studying is going as good as mine is. Haha
I got drunk and tried to make special rice krispie treats, but I made a mess and they were all stuck to my hands, so I just decided to eat my way out of the catastrophe and I think shit's about to get even weirder than usual.
That is romantic
Well sometimes you just gotta put your dicks and pizzas together to show you care
I think snapchat is trying to tell you something. It's saying your boobs were meant to be seen by his family.
My moms new boyfriend looks like Stu Pickles if he was in a biker gang. He gave me free coke though, so come party?
Oh and it took quite a bit of doing, but I managed to wipe my butt with the hat you left in my car
I don't know how a coffee date turned into road head. But hey
I did not get pleasing results from googling “Bob Ross goat”
If we both don't have awesome filthy sexual experiences to share in the morning...we are no longer best friends.
Stranded. In bathroom stall. No toilet paper. I repeat NO TOILET PAPER! Assistance needed asap. GO! GO! GO!
Randomize
