i just saw a foot job.
porn is incredible...
There was something that i liked about you, but you spent it
um i just went through the in-n-out drive thru and meant to ask for my cheeseburger animal style. turns out what i actually said was, can i get that cheeseburger doggy style? been a rough weekend.
She wouldn't go home with me cause I forgot her name. I didn't realize it would matter after she danced with her vagina on my face
His drunken night ended with a "car accident" which really meant he was stuck in a toy car and pushed down the steps.
I legitimately forgot how to blow my nose just now. Sleep might be handy.
THE ALMIGHTY HAS FALLEN DRUNKENLY OFF HIS HIGH HORSE AND INTO HOLLY'S VAGINA
I guess I'll just chalk it up as a learning experience and a lot of great sex.
'TWAS BUT A GLORIOUS SIGHT. BITCHES.
Life lesson 8263 if drinking a beer in the shower be careful when shampooing... Tresemme flavored rolling rock sucks
Just sent a dick pic to ur girl. It was accident. Plz mail it to Gena.
He fell asleep during FOREPLAY. Sober!!!
Im outta here as soon as my phone charges wtf
Fucked a DJ on a jetski today... I love florriidaaa!
I lost my cyber virginity to a guy I barely knew in high school while a Togepi Plushie watched.
Good morning beautiful! Wanna steal a cat this weekend?
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