This is evicking siegelnvs
Im sorry?
This is fucking ridiculous*
you kept singing the copa cabana and saying HAVE A BANANA to random people on the street. you also went up to this poor short guy and hugged him while proceeding to yell I LOVE YOU CHILD MAN into his face. please tell me you're sober now
sometimes in life you just needs hand puppets
I'm gonna laugh so hard when we're both married with families
That statement alone makes me laugh so hard.
he said he has something really important to tell me but isn't ready yet. It's either that he loves me or has herpes
I found your doppelganger. same hair, eyes, personality, catch phrases, and penis. it was mind-boggeling.
He's taking me to Tao. This is going to be so weird. How do you go on a first date with a guy that has seen you naked more times than clothed?
Another beautiful Sunday, another beautiful day the stick is not positive. Amen.
Nothing like walk of shaming to the bus stop in your bar clothes at noon and seeing the fire truck you work on drive past with the other shift giving you thumbs up.. Brotherhood at its finest
Just because I also want a blowjob doesn't mean I don't want to just see you too.
I swear to god, I'm like....the Jedi master of dick.
Well, he was practically tripping over his dick to get to me so I'd say my new dress was successful
I wasn’t trying to be creepy it just happened
I’m beginning to think that’s your defining personality trait.
I see more hoeing in ur future
I just want a man in my bed on a regular basis, who cuddles, and who I can also occasionally hang out with outside of my bedroom. Is that too much to ask for?
Randomize
