and trust me i need no booty pop lessons
What would you say if someone told you they liked your lips?
Which ones?
The dutch village is so much worse hungover. Fuck them and their wooden shoes.
unrelatedly i think im gonna download boogie nights just to see mark wahlberg's penis
My vagina has become a graveyard for my brother's friendships...
I made him tell me how he proposed to his wife before I'd bang him. I have a problem.
No. I didn't know. I thought mid afternoon shots meant the day could only get better.
Also, hurry up because I don't like drinking alone. I'm still doing it, but I don't like it.
thank god we only have to drink eggnog and rum once a year. It taste like shit.
so i guess now we know you can get away with peeing mere feet from the Capitol if you shout IM PREGNANT at the guards
Baked and hanging out with Al from Home Improvement's son. You can't make this shit up. Tuh-rippin balls
So last night I turned down multiple drinks because "I didn't want to hold them". It's time reevaluate my decisions
Oh god, I forgot we had sex to Elton John
I swear I have some evil slut demon in me when I'm blacked out
Don't we all.
I have acquired a mango...tonight is successful so far
Her name is susan
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