just hang any plant up and call it mistletoe.
Boys can't fool me. I know "want to come up and meet my dogs?" is just a nondirect way of saying "come up and meet my penis".
I only want to screw him when I'm drunk. Problem is I try to be drunk as often as possible
So I think his penis grew over the weekend. Is that possible or does absence make the dick grow longer?
on the way home I asked you what exit we get off at and your answer was "just like the goldfish"
Haha! I've never met his girlfriend, so my main focus will be not saying,"you're the only person in this room that doesn't know what my vagina feels like."
I mean i can't really be mad...either way i was gonna fuck him or hate fuck him, so it's basically a win/win situation.
I WANT TO. I JUST IMAGINE HIS BEAUTIFUL BLONDE HEAD INBETWEEN MY LEGS AND I BREAK DOWN AND START CRYING.
BTW rolling him off the couch and onto that tarp was pure genius. He definitely pissed himself last night.
Carson when you get home I want you to go downstairs and go into each bedroom and pick up the underwear and either throw it out or give it back to the people who own them. Look all over the room. Thank, Love Mom
I'm so tired I just poured monster in my coffee.
And it tastes incredible.
And I have chest pains.
I mean, you have to swipe right on someone you had sex with last week though, right?
There may or may not be an ass shaped dent in the hood of my car. All I know is windshield wipers aren't as sturdy as you think to hold onto.
so you 69ed him in the parking lot of your apartment
yah I won't allow him in my apartment
Come on baby if you haven't had a Charleston chew eatin out of your ass you just ain't livin right.
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