you were so drunk you slurred your pauses
So i think we're being coned into a threesome with the promise of pokemon
No, he's fine. He only wanted to know why there were traffic pylons in the living room and how the peanut butter got on the ceiling.
I seriously might throw up right now. In class. Sunglasses on. I'm getting too old for this.
I think my penis ruined a perfectly good friendship.
I FUCKING SERVED PEOPLE AND POURDED JUGS AND GOT FREE BEEEEEEEERERTERRY
getting up at 8am to start drinking seemed like a much better idea before I had to wake up at 8am
I'm just over here all sober hanging with two high people talking about how they're "free-spirited stallions."
I told her the party couldn't handle my playlist LAZERBAWLS and I was right. Cops in the basement, orgy in the kitchen, jousting in the living room.
I Pavlov-trained him by smacking him in the nuts anytime I caught him looking at another girl in public. To this day, he's afraid to break eye contact with me in a restaurant if a tall busty blonde walks in.
I just took the batteries out of the xbox remote so she could replace the dead ones in her vibrator If that's not love I don't know what is
Better not shit yourself at the gym.
While he was going down town Julie brown, I was eating French fries. True Love
It took me an hour to walk from my drive way to my front door... what the fuck was in that weed?
OF COURSE I NEED TO KNOW I MUST KNOW EVERYTHING
YOU ARE NOT OMNIPOTENT AND YOU HAVE TO DEAL WITH THAT
I AM OMNIPOTENT AND YOU HAVE TO DEAL WITH THAT
Randomize
