What you up to?
Having coffee. Getting eyefucked. Eyefucking.
Full throttle
Some guys are relationship guys. Not our niche.
Did he leave or is he still there?
He left right away, I might have passed out. I saw your text and was like who left where? Then the oh shit feeling sunk in, hangover starting now.
you never know when you'll meet the man of your dreams and bang him in an elevator
I went with the blow up doll and I'm glad I did.
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After he came inside me, he made us hold hands and pray that I wasn't pregnant.
A hangover is a type of food poisoning. Makes me feel better about calling out of work.
I think im definitely allergic to shell fish. Or hungover. Probably both.
I brought him to this party even though we're not together anymore because we made a bet on who would have sex first, and it is a sausage fest up in here.
I found him in bed on a pullout couch with another dude. He had two empty puke buckets and his empty bottle of jagermeister right by his head.
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Heard you were the one that shit off Jamie's balcony. FYI there is a cabbie down here out for blood
Can you send me the pic of me puking with a quesadilla on my shoulder
So do I get to ride the beginning of the November stache or what?
You wear a dinosaur suit one time and everyone thinks you're a furry. Fucking hell, man.
Now i know i wasnt that drunk... So why are there texts of me volunteering for a nude photo shoot for an art major student?
How do I tell this guy that if he does not like the condoms at my apartment, he should bring his own without sounding like a sure thing?
Say it's BYOC night at the beach. And, you are a sure thing. Own it.
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