Dude WTF? His teammate just started talkin to me on fb! Am I walking around with a "I like to f**k gators" on my forehead?
No, it just says ur easy
Don't be mad at me. I know peeing in your drawer is 1 thing and peeing on you while you're sleeping is another, but im sorry..i love you
Dude I'm so glad we're not friends anymore. It would have made fucking your stepmom last night really awkward. Dickwad.
TIT CHECK! TIT CHECK! ALERT! ALERT!!!!
i love accidental penises.
You saying I have a drinkingg problem is like saying Superman has a flying problem.
i asked him how he could stand the smell of skunk. his answer was "it smells like good weed"...
The only thing worse than cracking my rib on a slip and slide was having the doctors laugh when they found out in my medical history that I did this exact same thing last summer.
I knew from the second he called his penis glorious that I was meant to sleep with him
Basically I don't wanna put on pants...but I'm stoked for drinking my face off tomorrow.
Was it you who made out with a toothless guy last night?
After that time I came to the conclusion that jeeps are the best cars to have sex in
Idk man there's lots of bad dick but even a bad cookie is still pretty good
I knew deleting his texts was a bad idea and I was right. I just used the last time we talked to help me figure out when I had my last period
Jello shots and homoerotic movie scenes bingo?
Randomize
