oh good, I think they're gone
the painters?
my herpes
i have a feeling tonight will end in rehab
I'm pretty sure that every show on ABC Family could be turned into a drinking game.
My boobs are too big for things to be going this downhill in my life.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
sometimes i think i'm bisexual but then i realize the only girl i'm attracted to is myself.
its 4:30 pm. In the mall. Just threw up into my hands. I love Vegas and Vegas loves me
Dude, the cops never think it's as funny as you do.
Taking shots out of pine wood derby trophiesssssss. best idea ever.
do we own a ladder
We do not.
then how am i on the roof
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
It's cosmic balancing. My vagina is an instrument of karmic retribution.
You just sat there staring at your apple and saying "I'm so glad you're here" to it every time you took a bite.
Hey, before I head out, whats your policy on casual drug use and one night stands?
Dude, I just feel great. I love life so much and I love you. Love. Love. So much love.
Want to come over and dangle your tits on top of me like a skewer?
It's totally a relationship. we have sex in other people's beds, watch mad men while high and get drunk on his teammates' beer. don't you dare stomp on my dreams with your societal judgments
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