Dude she looked like Jerry Garcia's knuckles
Saw a dead body on the way to the casino. I think that's a good sign.
ps... at the end of one of the videos you yell "let's do the eiffel tower again.. i'll be in the middle!" .. i almost died lolol
I submitted an essay to my history teacher comparing changes in the middle ages to the song changes by David Bowie. I can't wait to see my grade on that.
im covered in puffy paint and glitter i cant find kevin and im wearing shoes that dont belong to me....come get me please
hes like my own personal sex toy i use him on the weekends and then i have the option to put him away all week
If I ever mention marriage force me to Brazil to do coke and strippers until I die.
in my defense, he kept drinking all of my water.
he had diabetes and you told him to stop being a pansy!
Bring my gorilla suit and my bong.
Oh its going to be that type of weekend?
theres 2 cans of open Campbell's soup on the counter and a note that says "guess which one is puke" ... want lunch?
Stop saying "make it happen". I'm not gonna say "hey, you should get naked with your sister and roll around together while I penetrate you both"
Yes. Do not say that. That will not make it happen.
Still. Make it happen
The funny part was that the cop pulled us over cause the park was closed, not because I had just come up from giving the guy a blowjob when the cop drove by.
that's the first time I've heard "shenanigans" and "apocalypse" in the same sentence
I put purple lights under my bed and asked him if he wanted to fuck in a spaceship.
In all the years we have had drunk sex, have we ever done it in a bed?
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