yo I wanna see you, bring that beard of yours
I bought a nasal spray, my nose needs to be in order by the weekend
So when I got her home I realized being a lesbian again isn't like riding a bike...
Walked into the bar with my burrito and ordered a round of shots for everyone. Not sure if I want to look at the credit card statement.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Let's have sex soon. Just us!! Its sad that I have to specify.
he was very distressed by my statements that there could have been balls on shoulders without awareness
Took out half a tooth with a handle of jim beam last night. Apparently I can't walk and chug bourbon at the same time
He straight up just had me drive all the way here and when I got here he was drinking a cup of tea and right after said he needed to go to bed
I heard moaning and ass slapping and sponge bob.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Biggg time. I found 2 empty packages of extenze in my car this am.... not sure what that was all about
I'm beginning to think that women just have dogs at home as an excuse to leave ASAP after hooking up, without sounding like a typical guy.
im lying in bed trying to choke myself out because being awake hurts too much
So uh... Did you mail me business cards that describe my profession as "tortured soul"?
But I thought it was so funny last night
You also thought you were a gypsy mermaid last night
thought i saw a dude in a kilt yesterday, but then i realized he was doing a walk of shame. happy st. paddy's day.
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