I totally got off with my controler for my ps3. Soooo glad I ended up with that racing game for Christmas.
I think you're the first person to ever call Louisville, KY a "romantic getaway".
Just did shots with my boss to warm up for our sales call to Childrens Hospital. I love startups.
he showed me his boner with his cell phone light during the movie.
I woke up at 2 pm to my roommate checking my pulse.
someone lit off fireworks while I puked in the street. I was like congratulating me for making it through homecoming.
You may see me on espn tomorrow drunk, half naked, and selling articles of clothing to rich cougars like i did last year, but i will NOT be drinking shitty beer
Hangover Status: I've been bedridden longer than that kid from The Secret Garden. It's not looking good.
I don't know how or when he is sober long enough to donate plasma
Then he texted me that I was the "good kind" of fat.
I know you're aving fun across the room but I can clearly see you getting a handy. It's not as "low key" as she promised. Also, why are you texting while she's doing it?!
McDonald's and a car nap. I feel kinda human
So if you wanna come get your pants you can. But you have to come in your boxers. Rules are rules!
Awesome. I did a rain go away dance. And it went away. Nbd just cotrollin the weather with my mind and sweet dance moves
It's his. I know, I'm pregnant with a genetic douche bag but at least he'll be pretty!
Randomize
