apparently i broke a 100 dollar bill to tip the bartender on a free drink
I need to stop researching the drugs I do on Wikipedia. The parts about abuse and dependency hit too close to home
I know this may seem inappropriate, but are you gonna bring any blow to the wedding?
I'm pretty sure I told everyone in the bar I hadn't had sex in five months. And then I offered everyone calamari.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I just overheard this sorority girl saying "It's like trick or treting but for alcohol and with no costumes." I'm jealous.
I'm dying. The alcohol is viciously exiting my tiny body.
We were at dinner and dad asked me to pass the salt and I suddenly remembered doing body shots when I was blacked out last weekend.
Why even have a ground level apt if you're not gonna let me climb out the window? I hate walk of shaming in front of toddlers...
He smells like ham and a lifetime of poor choices
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
These last 48 hours have just been about deleting my most recent snap story
Doesn't matter if you work at a funeral home. If the boss says get a keg, you get a keg.
Ate his Chinese food and drank his beer and played with his chihuahua. All while wrapped in a towel while he was sleep.
Well, I sent nudes with an Elmo t shirt on the floor... so there's that.
The drag queen you used to date and the girl you brought over last night are discussing your sex noises in my living room. I'm changing my locks.
I'm like the kinda excited when David After Dentist stands up in his seat, screams, and collapses
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