So we've decided on 'hamburger' as your code for tonight. If you add ketchup or fries, we know the threat level has escalated.
she likes to give head while listening to britney spears, getting blown by a girl with headphones on is a nice level of separation
That was the scariest sex i've ever heard....
It was the best sex i've ever had.
drunk taco night MLK would want it this way.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Chill out, I'm getting ready as fast as I can. I didn't even masturbate in the shower.
What's great about college is that i can eat chocolate cereal for every meal and call it a money saving technique.
Ps you missed quite a show. I was for some reason whipping my hair back and forth and head butted the tip jar. It shattered and now I have a circular bruise on my forehead. All the bartenders hit the floor to get all the quarters.
I was like a migrating bird last night. Navigating on pure instinct. Don't remember how... but I made it home.
The bartender had to walk me home last night. New high or new low?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I wish university was like frosh week all the time and then they just give you a degree for surviving
P.s. I loved that your balls smelled like coconut
Tune in tm morning for how to buy Plan B in a foreign country while coming down off ecstasy
Nooo. I was entirely happy pretending that my vagina only existed for peeing and releasing Satan's waterfall.
After I asked for my 6th Gin & Tonic, the look on the flight attendant's face started to make me feel bad about myself.
Hungover at Subway, watching a business guy try to squeeze his way past my car to get into his. Bitch shouldn'ta parked over the line.
You truly are a temple of morality.
I am the night, I am justice, I am currently watching the fat biz guy pay a frat boy to back his car up for him so he can get in.
Randomize