i am watching brooke knows best right now and hulk is totally dating his daughter's look a like. it is gross and disturbing.
the most pressuring question is, why are you watching brooke knows best?.
so he just left - touched my cheek like he was gona kiss me and then gave me a fist bump?
I'm just trying to jam my tits into some coconuts and I'll be on my way
I know I am usually the slut but tonight it's her. She is being a slut, yes slut, T as in Tomorrow, U as in Uterus, L as in Llama and S as in Sangria. That spells slut, but backwards and that's what she is being.
I asked him if his doormat had a name, then proceeded to sit on it for the next 30 minutes while signing that magic carpet ride song from aladdin.
Look, I'm just saying... paying ur respects to the neighbors who had a death in the family with food u steal from the neighbors having the cookout may result in a negative karma situation.
We need a full length mirror. I just ate it trying to look at my shoes on the toilet. But aside from a arm bruise I'm good to go
Blacking out is all I've done this year and we're only 3 days in. Checkmate bitch.
We were fucking in the boat on the lake when another boat saw us and honked their appreciation.
I bought the restaurant a boat airhorn to wake up sleeping employees.
I love you
I just want to bone him one last time before he moves across the country with his new (average looking) girl friend.
Like he was trying to be sexy but he had shit taste in porn so i left
you were walking down the sidewalk and just puked. didnt even stop or slow down and just kept going. i was so impressed i didnt even tell anyone you threw up on passing peoples shoes.
Hey bring in backup. its going to take a lot more beer than we think to fill up the water bed...
How did I get up here...did jesus lift me up
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